Voicemail

Apr. 29th, 2020 02:59 pm
dollpocalypse: (phone: in undies)
[personal profile] dollpocalypse
[to the sound of rapid typing and potato chip-crunching in the background]

You're on with Topher. Sure, fine, leave a message if you have to.
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Date: 2011-08-18 01:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hoorayimrich.livejournal.com
Topher, this was probably the most ill-advised drunk dial ever.

"Bobby ate my sombrero," Tony whined, pushing buttons on the phone needlessly. Or possibly in the tune of 'Friday'. "You need to stay away from Peter. He's evil and political and evil. Mostly evil."

A beat.

"Evil. You know."

Date: 2011-09-06 02:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com
Rilla was perhaps not the person that "for a good time call" grafitti was aimed at.

Thus the message.

"Hello, I've heard you're someone to call for a good time? Do you know how to pull taffy?"

Sadly, not a euphemism.

Date: 2011-09-06 02:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] perilless.livejournal.com
Rilla wasn't the only poor innocent young woman mislead by the bathroom grafitti.

"I must say!" the message came from a rather excited sounded princess, "I have never made such a forward advance like this in my life, but your proposition was most intriguing and I simply had to call and wonder just what sort of a good time you might be able to show me. I am in dire need of a good time right now, you have no idea, I swear it. Please call me back with haste, but, pray, let us not allow that haste to transfer over into our good time."

Date: 2011-09-06 11:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com
That would just be Kenzi laughing her ass off, when she realized whose voicemail was left there. You're welcome, Topher.

Date: 2011-09-22 11:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com
Kenzi's call was perfunctory but definite.

"Get your butt to Caritas tonight, Topher. Socialization! You can haz it!"

Date: 2011-11-11 02:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hoorayimrich.livejournal.com
Tony had words of wisdom that might have only been meant for one person, but...

I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous

Date: 2011-11-11 04:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] exactlyaverage.livejournal.com
And when Topher came to his senses or checked his voice mail he would get a message from an official sounding female.

"Mr. Brink? This is federal agent Jo Lupo. It's come to our attention that during the night of November 11th, 2011 you were under the influence of alcohol while a minor and committed a criminal act. Please report to the Fandom Town Police Department tomorrow morning and explain you are there to confess to criminal code 10-5.604b-2. If you do not appear by 9:00 AM a warrant will be issued for your arrest. Have a nice day."

Date: 2011-11-11 04:28 am (UTC)
selfhelphero: ([neg] confused look)
From: [personal profile] selfhelphero
STOP BREATHING ON TONY SO MUCH OMG. LET HIM HAVE OTHER AIR.

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Date: 2011-11-14 07:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hoorayimrich.livejournal.com
I don't think I can be the friend you need at the moment. I need to take some time for myself.

Please don't contact me.

Date: 2011-11-17 02:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hoorayimrich.livejournal.com
Disregard any texts from me in the past few days. Long story.

Date: 2011-11-21 02:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] exactlyaverage.livejournal.com
This call? Clearly a sign of desperation.

"Brink? Jack Carter. Listen... I need help with my phone. It's not working."

Actually the phone was just fine.

"Can you come by and take a look at it when you get a chance?"

Was that desperation in Jack's voice? Yep. Not that he'd admit it.

"And no, you can't play with SARAH."

Yes, he'd hung out with enough scientists to know where Topher would go with this.

Date: 2011-12-04 12:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chief-cheerio.livejournal.com
In mistaken response to this:

"It's Quinn. I know you know my name. Peter made you say it on the radio. Why are your asshole friends calling me about exploding roast goose and Klondike bars? Are you all really that bored? It's not like the world is ending and there might be better things to do, or anything. Anyhow, cut it out."
Edited Date: 2011-12-04 12:27 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-12-08 02:52 pm (UTC)
lockestheway: (peter: curiously)
From: [personal profile] lockestheway
Some people were polite. Diplomatic, even.

Peter tended to count himself along these people when it counted.

"Where the hell are you?"

Today was not a day where it counted.

Date: 2011-12-08 07:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com
Kenzi had heard Radio. Kenzi was worried.

"Hey. You better not be dead! Call me! Call me call me call me!"

Date: 2011-12-25 09:28 pm (UTC)
lockestheway: (peter: smug snake)
From: [personal profile] lockestheway
Late on Sunday, Topher could find this voicemail message sitting on his phone.

"Hey, Topher. I had a chance to get a look at that disc you gave me, and I have to say, these upgrades are looking good. Nice work, kid. Thanks."

Click.

There. Have your Christmas present, Topher.

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Date: 2012-01-01 04:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knight-fatali.livejournal.com
Seifer was getting his ass in gear, which was why he was leaving Topher a message before noon on the first day of 2012.

"Hey, Topher, this is Seifer Almasy. Kenzi said you would be the guy I would talk to if I needed some paperwork set up. The kind that says I exist on Earth. I'm in 408."

Date: 2012-01-17 02:51 am (UTC)
longislandiceme: (airquotes)
From: [personal profile] longislandiceme
Pfft, actually talking to the people sitting across from you was for suckers.

I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.

Just be amazed he managed to properly capitalize all that.

Date: 2012-01-17 03:04 am (UTC)
longislandiceme: (arguing)
From: [personal profile] longislandiceme
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.

Date: 2012-01-17 03:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hoorayimrich.livejournal.com
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS

Date: 2012-01-17 03:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hoorayimrich.livejournal.com
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly

Date: 2012-01-17 04:24 am (UTC)
longislandiceme: (wtf?)
From: [personal profile] longislandiceme
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.

Date: 2012-02-09 08:13 pm (UTC)
endsthegame: (ender is in charge)
From: [personal profile] endsthegame
"Topher, Ben and I are leaving for a while to take care of some business."

Yes, Ender was doing this by voicemail.

"Just in case you got worried not seeing either of us around. I'll talk to you later."

Or not, if he and Ben would die horribly upon arrival, but Ender tended not to count on that kind of thing.

Date: 2012-02-19 04:02 am (UTC)
momslilassassin: ([neg] ben will jack you up)
From: [personal profile] momslilassassin
After a confusing message that woke Ben from a nap, he reached blearily for his comlink and pulled up Topher's number.

Why do you have Warren's BODY? Plz dont be a dipshit. We just got k calmed down from last time... he texted, then turned the phone back off.

"Weird weekend," he mumbled, closing his eyes again.

Crazy Phone Day

Date: 2012-03-20 10:21 am (UTC)
lockestheway: (peter: one day hegemon)
From: [personal profile] lockestheway
The voicemail message came in disturbingly early in the morning. The voice was garbled, clearly run through several anonymizer programs.

"Minister, I am told recent events have left you without a stable net connection," the voice spoke. "So while this isn't my preferred means of communication, I am making an exception for you. Rest assured I'm doing everything in my power to stabilize the situation. Unfortunately, I don't have further intelligence on Achilles Flandres as of yet. Hopefully we will be able to help each other soon."

Click.

Wacky Phone day

Date: 2012-03-20 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com
Kenzi thought she was leaving a message for Karla, to let her know where some of the stock went.

Operation Overshare: go!

"Hey, it's me. So don't worry about the missing outfits, I'm doing some 'product testing' with them and a couple board games, gonna blow Toby's mind, and anything we don't use I'll bring back. And anything we do, I'll pay back. Swear!

"Incidentally we're out of the mint lube."

'We' being 'Dite's. Not Kenzi. Whoops.
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