Room 307, Thursday Evening

[dollpocalypse]

Fact: Research sucked.

But here Topher was, doing it anyway. Because Peter had told him to, and that was enough, most of the time, to get him to do things. Sad but true.

And... maybe Topher was a little bit more inclined to do as Peter said this week in particular for another reason too. Which would be the need to appease him in light of the terrifying possibility that maybe, just maybe, Karla had blabbed the contents of their conversation the other day and now Peter wanted to kill him and get a new tech person and not be his friend anymore and and and --

Anyway.

Researching.

It was hard, with the siren call of meta for Skyrim beckoning to him, but Topher was managing.

[[open door, open post]]

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[dollpocalypse]

Topher paused.

Then jabbed a finger up at the Tony picture on the ceiling.

[glacial_queen]

Karla glanced up at the picture and then back to Topher. "Just how is that helpful?" she demanded.

Sorry, Topher. She meant in regards to the bigger picture, not your libido.

[dollpocalypse]

"First tell me what you meant by boyfriend."

Sure. Now he decided to be stubborn.

[glacial_queen]

"Without knowing if you have any information worth my time?" Karla countered. "Not likely."

[dollpocalypse]

Frustrated and incredibly curious, Topher found himself filled with a weird tension all over his body, and he swung one foot out to kick useleslly at the air in front of him. "Just -- is he -- I mean, he said he isn't, but -- !?"

That was punctuated by a high-pitched whimpering noise. Because HE NEEDED TO KNOW.

[glacial_queen]

"First of all, that Tony--" she pointed to his ceiling, "--is not this Tony. So it doesn't matter if that Tony paints himself blue and goes horseback riding naked, that doesn't mean that this Tony will. Alternate versions are just that. Alternate."

Not that Karla had a great track record in keeping her hatred of different versions of people separate, but do as she said, Topher, not as she did.

"So any answer I give you means nothing about this Tony. Got that?"

[dollpocalypse]

Topher nodded quickly. The words had registered, and if he'd been any less excited to just know already he might've made some remark to the effect of his being a genius and knowing that already, thank you very much -- but now was not the time for that.

"Uh-huh," he said, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet.

[glacial_queen]

"Then, yes, that Tony had a boyfriend. I don't know how they got together or anything about them. I just know that Tyler used to run Fight Club with Lady Ghanima, so presumably, that Tony is attracted to guys who are pretty bad ass."

So...NOT YOU, TOPHER. HINT. HINT.

[dollpocalypse]

Okay. Digesting that. Okay.

"Badass," Topher repeated, nodding. "Okay. I can do badass!"

He most certainly could not.

He glanced down at his considerably unbadass ensemble and bit his lip. "Probaby gonna need some new clothes, huh?"

[glacial_queen]

No, Topher. That was not the takeaway message here.

Karla felt like facepalming.

"Do you really want to change who you are, just for a male?"

Oh, honey. Don't try to use self-empowerment ideals with Topher.

[dollpocalypse]

"Um." That was a bit of a stumper. "Yes?"

Aww, did Karla like him the way he was? That's okay, Karla. Just admit it. You'll feel better.

[glacial_queen]

No. Mostly she didn't want to have to Heal a laughter hernia from the sight of Topher rocking a leather jacket over a sweater vest. And, if word of this conversation got out, she would probably have to Heal whatever was left after his first fiery wreck on a motorcycle.

"No, Topher," she said tiredly. "The right answer is no."

[dollpocalypse]

"...why not?"

Look, Tony was awesome, okay? And if some version of him liked guys, then maybe Topher had a shot, and if all he had to do was be cooler, what was wrong with that?

[glacial_queen]

Because Topher wasn't that cool? And because that version of Tony wasn't this version? TOPHER. THEY HAD JUST HAD THAT TALK.

"Because you can't base your personality on what other people like," Karla told him. Though, really if it meant he stopped being so annoying... "Small changes, yes." Like not being so annoying, again. "But you can't suddenly become a whole new person. Especially when the person you're trying to become is attractive to a completely different version of that guy you like."

[dollpocalypse]

"But maybe they like the same things," Topher pointed out, not seeing her objection to this. "Or else what makes them both versions of Tony, instead of just two guys with the same name?"

He had a point. Granted, not an especially sharp one, but.

[glacial_queen]

"Go talk to Ben and Ender about timeline mechanics," Karla said, happily foisting off that duty to other people. "Or Warren. He has very little in common with his alternate-universe selves."

Which reminded her..."By the way, you ever try to eat or experiment on my boyfriend again, we're going to have words. Or, rather, I'm going to have words, and you're going to have high-pitched, squeaky noises of pain and terror. Okay?"

[dollpocalypse]

Um. That was an alarming change of subject. You could tell because of how Topher was now taking several steps back, away from the scary Karla-glare.

"Uh," he said, eloquently. "Um. Even though he said it's okay?"

[glacial_queen]

Karla had her own doubts about that. "Even though," she said. "No, Topher. No."

[dollpocalypse]

"But -- but I could figure out how he works! And maybe impro--"

No, Topher. That was the wrong direction entirely.

"I mean, I could do tests! To check that he's, you know, in... working order! And, since he's from a whole different dimension, it could help me figure out all the weirdness that's going on!"

Yeah, no, not really. But he thought it would, and that was cute.

[glacial_queen]

Imagine, if one would, a rather large and strong hand smacking Topher directly in the back of the head in an effort to kickstart his brain. Now imagine it was invisible and wrought from Craft.

That was Karla's response to Topher's 'brilliant' idea. "No," she said, and her tone brooked no argument not that that would stop him. "First of all, that's the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Second of all, touch him and I will break every bone in your hand and then heal them crooked."

Try using a keyboard then, Topher.

[dollpocalypse]

Topher yelped, one hand flying up to the back of his head where he'd been hit. "Dude!" he exclaimed. "You could've just said so nicely! There's no need for violence!"

And to think, Karla had been so sympathetic when she'd thought she'd picked up on vibes of abuse at the hands of Peter. How the tables had turned.

"Look," he said, backing up and holding up both hands as though that might protect him. "Can I just explain my theory? DO NOT HIT ME AGAIN."

[glacial_queen]

One swat to the head wasn't on the same level of emotional manipulation, but Karla was chastised enough to let the phantom hand go and give a grudging nod. "This had better be an amazing theory," she growled. "Warren is not some kind of...breathing science experiment for you to play with. He's a person."

With experiment-related trauma. She'd been in his head once; had seen his fear of straps and needles.

"I won't let you dehumanize him in the name of curious prodding."

[dollpocalypse]

Topher gave an impatient little huff. Gesturing with his hands, he explained, "Whatever's happening to people's worlds, it's making these crazy scans. Squigglies all over the place, stuff in the air that shouldn't be there, all kinds of weirdness that doesn't make any sense -- in my dimension. I can't explain it. But I figure, maybe with some other kind of physics in some other world, it'll make sense. Warren's physics has to be different from mine, what with the..." He gestured to indicate wings. "If I figured out how he works compared to how people work at home for me, maybe I can use that to figure out what's going on."

Hmph.

[glacial_queen]

"That's ridiculous," Karla scoffed. "All you'd figure out was that he's a mutant. Which, duh, we already knew. He's been here longer than you have--whatever's going crazy in his world won't affect him on a cellular level. You'd have better luck trying that on an alumni who just got back on island with the emptiness snapping at their heels."

[dollpocalypse]

"Not necessarily," Topher said, shrugging. "He could be made up totally differently, if his universe has different rules. And if I can work backwards and figure out what those rules are, maybe I'll be able to put together what's happening."