Aperture Science Research & Development Labs | Some Ohio Somewhere

[dollpocalypse]

Topher had two main things that he was doing today, because doing only one thing at a time was boring and something only stupid people did, in his opinion. First, he was melting down turret bullets, a very precise process that involved wearing gloves and goggles in addition to his usual lab coat -- both very obviously awesome additions to his ensemble. And secondly, and somewhat related to that one, he had discovered Instagram, which was popular with the other Aperture R&D technicians probably on the basis that they could make their pictures look just vague enough to not break any rules by posting them.

So, new Instagram user cbrain was now posting a lot of very ugly-looking, green-filtered pictures of test tubes full of liquid with the name on the side of the tubes blurred out. And somehow, he was acquiring followers with impressive speed.

It was one of those days where Topher was genuinely amazed that he was only a rising senior in high school. That had more to do with his first task than the second one, but internet fame was impressive too.

Also he was controlling the lab playlist for the first time. An intimidating task, to be sure, but he'd eventually just gone with meta for wookie noises. Everyone loved them.

[[I really wanted to do an Aperture post with this icon because I'm legitimately horrible. Open for calls and such! Mod your instagrammy pictures of vagueness.]]

Comments

[lockestheway]

Was his ringtone meta for wookie noises, too? Because his phone was ringing.

[dollpocalypse]

No, no, his phone was ringing the theme from the third meta for Mass Effect. Totally different.

Ignoring the annoyed looks of his colleagues and shooting them a Look how popular I am look of his own, Topher swiped the touchscreen to accept the call without even looking at who it was.

"Go for Brink."

[lockestheway]

"You," Peter said, eyeballing an Instagram picture on his desk's holographic display, "are a menace to company security."

[dollpocalypse]

Yes, he really was.

Topher paused. A wookie noise filled the silence.

"...I don't know what you're talking about."

[lockestheway]

"You really think an image filter is going to stop a determined hacker?" Peter asked, flicking idly to the next picture.

[dollpocalypse]

"Hey, you're talking to another determined hacker here," Topher pointed out. "I know all about what they would or would not be stopped by."

And yet.

[lockestheway]

"Then why are you rampantly leaking information someone could use against you or your employer?"

Someone like Peter.

[dollpocalypse]

"I dunno," Topher said. Eloquently and all. "The other guys in the lab started it. And it's not like anyone's gonna just assume I'm at Aperture just from a test tube."

Cough. "I mean, at a... place. A place where I currently work."

Yeah, he'd already told Peter where he worked. That was more about the co-workers who could hear him right now. You know, over the wookie noises.

[lockestheway]

Peter let out a sigh that was... really mostly for theatrical purposes, really.

"So how are you, Topher?"

Besides potentially useful yet moronic.

[dollpocalypse]

"I'm awesome. I haven't been turned into a girl or a kid all summer and I'm in charge of the playlist today," Topher reported. "Can't remember shit about that other weekend, but that's cool. What about you? How's stuff?"

[lockestheway]

Peter's voice was very dry as he said, "I've been busy."

He was Peter. He'd leave it to Topher to guess how.

[dollpocalypse]

"With Vegetable Name Kid and the nun?" Topher guessed. "Sounds fun."

Sarcasm, of course.

[lockestheway]

"The nun's dead, actually," Peter said, though he didn't sound like he cared much. "The vegetable's at war. It's been novel."

[dollpocalypse]

"Sucks," said Topher, who sounded equally unaffected. He did, however, decide that now was the time to take this phone call into the break room, much to the relief of his coworkers. "War like in space again, or what?"

[lockestheway]

Peter rolled his eyes. "No, we were done with that when Ender annihilated the buggers," he said. "Plain old land war."

[dollpocalypse]

Topher made a disappointed noise like he found that news boring. "Does that at least mean he's emailing less?"

[lockestheway]

"Oh, not at all," Peter said easily. "It's Bean. He'll take any chance he can get to berate me for whatever I've done wrong this time, the little brat."

[dollpocalypse]

"Can't imagine why anyone would do that," Topher replied. Mean. "But emailing during a war seems... time-consuming."

[lockestheway]

"Take it up with the legume," Peter said with an audible shrug. "I'm just trying to do my end of the job."

The vague, vague job.

[dollpocalypse]

"I thought you were done with the blogging thing," Topher mused. "What does consulting for Haiti have to do with that guy?"

[lockestheway]

"I get bored," Peter said vaguely. "You know how it is."

He was writing his way into a new job, he didn't say.

[dollpocalypse]

"...I don't think we experience the same kind of boredom," Topher decided.

[lockestheway]

"Oh, come on," Peter retorted. "When you get bored, you... experiment. Blogging is my outlet."

[dollpocalypse]

"I guess," Topher said dubiously. "I thought the anti-boredom outlet was supposed to be more interesting than the alternative, though."