Room 307, Wednesday Evening

[dollpocalypse]

As it turned out, it was harder to take stories down from a kink meme than you might think. Perils of posting anonymously and all that -- no easy delete button.

Which was why it was fortunate that Topher didn't need a delete button, and managed with little trouble to not only take the story down, but also to gift the moderators with some thoughtful presents to express his appreciation of their entire stupid system.

Mean, system-disrupty presents. Sorry, Pepper totally anonymous moderators.

At least it felt useful to do that rather than the whole video-game-zombie-killing thing. That was a plus. Once he was finished, he considered working a bit on some of Peter's spybots, since his weetiny self had not been kind to them, but the memory of working on them with Tony put that on a definite hold.

So. Moping Hacking for sport it was.

[[for that guy getting a jump start on his career as a heartbreaker actually screw that, i'm bored. door shut but post open.]]

Comments

[dollpocalypse]

Oh, god, boundaries. BOUNDARIES HURT SO BAD.

"I know," Topher said again, drawing in closer on himself because, fine, he really hadn't known that. "It was just, like, an accident. With the... drinking. You know."

WORST LIE EVER.

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

Tony believed that. Look how much he believed that.

"Topher. I'm serious," Tony said, looking down at the ground. "I've had a seriously bad couple of days and don't want to deal with this again."

[dollpocalypse]

Topher flinched. It was possible that that rule wasn't entirely news to him. You know, since Peter kept bringing up how it was Wrong to sniff other people's shirts and all. Plus there was that talk from the carnival, and, well. Maybe he should've caught on earlier.

The hurt passed over his face quickly enough, then was replaced by a wide-eyed uncertainty that made it perfectly clear how clueless he felt right now.

"Um," he said. "What, uh, what happened?"

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"Something that liked me a little too much did some very bad things," Tony replied carefully. "I know you like me a lot. And I know this is the first time for you feeling that way about someone. But I have a girlfriend who I really like too."

He sighed, feeling all that sleep deprivation hit him behind the eyes like a truck.

"I'm not saying you have to get over it right now, but you do eventually. You'll find someone who can like you back in that way and I'll be there to keep you from stealing their clothing."

Like a good friend.

[dollpocalypse]

...well, god, Tony, could you be any gentler about it?

Topher picked at his comforter for a minute, not sure of what to say. Except that he shouldn't've been so obvious. Even if Tony wasn't saying he didn't want to be friends anymore, he was saying that Topher had completely mishandled this, and like all smartass geniuses, he really, really hated to be wrong. But even bigger than that was that stupid, awful, painful feeling like he was going to throw up, and it shouldn't be so much of a surprise because he knew this already, had known this ever since Homecoming, but it still hit him like sudden nausea that this was never going to happen. Because Tony didn't want it to.

"Oh," he said after a long silence, actually managing to lift his eyes almost to Tony's. "Oh. Um."

Stupid fucking pit-of-his-stomach twisty feeling that wasn't going away.

"Yeah. Okay, then."

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

Maybe it took him this long to finally set Topher straight because he could see a little too much of himself in him. If things had gone differently with his life.

"Just think about it, okay? I--" He sighed, closing his eyes tight to regain focus. "--I know this hurts. Trust me, I've been there. Everyone has been there. But you pick yourself up and move on stronger than you started."

Or brood a lot. While beating up people in a robotic suit of armor.

[dollpocalypse]

Except suddenly Topher couldn't get the image of little-kid Tony out of his head, and how confident and sure of himself he'd been, while Topher... had been the kid who was scared enough to hand over his most prized possession over to a bigger kid, just because he didn't want to be teased.

So how could Tony get it?

"Yeah," he said, picking at the blanket some more. "I, uh. I'll get on that." Suddenly he was grateful he'd already taken down that stupid story. "Should I, um. Leave you alone for a while?"

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"Do you want to?"

[dollpocalypse]

Never.

"I mean. Not really?" he offered awkwardly. "But, um, if you'd rather?"

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

Tony shot him a look. "You're still my friend, Topher."

[dollpocalypse]

Maybe Tony had already said that, and maybe the rest of what he'd said sort of made Topher feel like throwing up, but that didn't change the little leap Topher's heart did at that news. It was weird. He glanced down, half-expecting to see some kind of visible change.

"No, I know," he mumbled, trying not to show that that actually made him feel a lot better. "I just thought, you know..."

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

Oh, Topher. "Sleep on it, okay? Then figure out what you want to do."

Sleep all the sleep for Tony.

[dollpocalypse]

"No, I mean -- it's fine," Topher said hastily, because even knowing -- well, what it was that he knew now, he didn't want Tony to go around thinking he didn't want to be friends anymore. No matter how weird it was. "You know, as long as you're still cool with, you know." A pause, then, very quietly, he finished, "Me."

FUCK YOU, FEELINGS.

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"Would I be here if I wasn't?"

[dollpocalypse]

Fuck it fuck it fuck it, any chances that Topher ever might have had of repressing the weekend and pretending he'd never been that awkward, desperate little kid who just wanted friends were completely gone.

"I don't know," he said quietly, hating how he must sound right now. "Maybe."

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"Trust me," Tony replied. "If I didn't care, I'd be passed out in a pile of dirty laundry by now."

[dollpocalypse]

"Oh."

Huh.

He lightly kicked one of the half-disassembled spybots on the floor under his bed.

"Thanks, I guess."

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"We'll do something this weekend, okay? After I feel human again."

[dollpocalypse]

"Yeah," Topher agreed, managing to sound really eager and really uncertain at the same time. "Yeah, you should probably get some rest."

Congratulations on being the only person whose physical well-being Topher had ever given a shit about, Tony. HE DIDN'T MOTHER-HEN JUST ANYONE, YOU KNOW.

"What, uh. What happened? I mean, if you don't mind, uh..."

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

Tony opened his mouth to respond, then closed it again. "Really long story. I'll tell you later, okay? Promise."

[dollpocalypse]

"You don't have to," Topher said quickly.

Because his self-esteem felt like shooting itself in the back alley tonight, apparently.

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"I will." It was a firm promise.

"We can't have too many serious conversations," he said with a grin. "Might break something."

[dollpocalypse]

Topher let himself crack a smile at that. An uncertain one, taking his cue from Tony, but still a smile.

"Yeah," he agreed. "Good call."

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"This weekend, okay?"

[dollpocalypse]

Jerky nod.

"Yeah. Definitely." Because now he was going to to show up at the door of the lab to make good on that if he had to. "So, uh--" as he realized that he'd still been holding that stupid shirt all this time, knuckles of his left hand nearly white from his grip, "--here."

He was going to replay the moment of letting it go and tossing it to Tony over again in his head a million times, thanks.