if i think i can figure things out, is that curiosity or arrogance?

Totally the best possible plan.

When three Auditors hadn't unwittingly stepped in behind you five seconds afterwards.

"Where are you going so quickly?" Mr. Crimson wondered.

"We will follow you," Ms. Amaranth decided.

"Why is your hair defying the law of gravity?" Mr. Scarlet wondered.

From:

"Uh."

Well. That wasn't good.

"Um. Morning?"

From:

"It is," Mr. Crimson confirmed.

And continued to look at Topher expectantly.

From:

"...something I can do for you?" Topher asked, baffled as he tried to edge around them.

NOPE.

From:

"We wish to come with you," Ms. Amaranth repeated.

"Perhaps his ears are malfunctioning," Mr. Scarlet opined.

From:

"Oh, yeah, no," Topher said, shaking his head. "I'm good on the whole... company thing. Thanks."

From:

"Where are you going?"

Clearly Mr. Crimson was not going to budge on this. "Your hair. You didn't answer our question."

From:

"Don't worry about it," Topher decided.

That was likely to convince them.

From:

All three Auditors looked confused.

All three Auditors took a step forward to take a look at Topher's hair.

A very close one.

"It does not adhere to the Rules," said Mr. Crimson. "That is worrisome."

From:

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Topher said, backing up quickly. "No touching!"

From:

The Auditors took another step closer in tandem. "If you do not tell us," Ms. Amaranth said logically, "We will break it down to its component atoms."

From:

"HEY!" Karla yelled, coming around a corner. "DON'T YOU TOUCH HIM!"

Not that Karla liked Topher, mind. Or hadn't thought about how nice it would be to remove Topher from existence once or twice. But that didn't mean that they got to do it.

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size!"

From:

Oh, thank god. Maybe now Topher would be able to flee now? Maybe? Well, he was sure going to try.

"I -- I agree with that!" he squeaked, backing away from the creepy Auditors.

From:

One Auditor looked to the next, though at least they had stopped their advance.

Mr. Scarlet shot Karla a puzzled look, then held up his hand. Then held it up roughly at the height of the top of Topher's head.

"But he is our own size," he said logically.

From:

"Yeah, but he's not very bright," Karla pointed out. Oh, idioms. "It's like shooting fish in the barrel. Yeah, you'll win, but it's not very fun."

Sorry, Topher, but--wait. No. Karla was saving your ass. You would take her comments and like them.

"So you just leave him alone," she demanded. "Or I'm going to have to get unpleasant."

From:

"She does get very unpleasant!" Topher agreed, scrambling over to ~~safety~~ Karla. "I'm pretty scared of her myself! So! You should just... not piss her off!"

You tell 'em, Topher.

Edited Date: 2011-12-08 07:29 pm (UTC)

From:

The three Auditors had turned now, and they were drifting slowly towards Karla. So congratulations, Karla; that part of your plan had worked.

"How is it like shooting fish in a barrel?" Mr. Crimson asked.

"He is not a light source," Mr. Scarlet confirmed.

"Define 'unpleasant'," Ms. Amaranth added.

From:

"Both are far too easy," Karla replied to the first.

"Of course not, that would make him useful," she explained to the second.

"And just like this!" she retorted to the third, bringing up her hand to shoot them with an arc of Sapphire energy.

Except nothing happened. She stared at her hand in disbelief for a moment, shook it, and tried again.

Still nothing.

Well...fuck.

Edited Date: 2011-12-08 07:41 pm (UTC)

From:

"Was that -- was that supposed to help?!" Topher demanded, whirling on Karla. "'Cause -- 'cause it did not!"

Topher Brink: Single-handedly cracking deductive cases wide open for fifteen years now.

From:

"Don't do that," Mr. Crimson admonished.

Ms. Amaranth also didn't look too pleased. "That is Against the Rules," she said.

Meanwhile, Mr. Scarlet was repeating the hand motion Karla had made, just to see if that was something innate to the human form after all and they just hadn't known.

From:

"Hey, Topher," Karla said, grabbing him by the collar and starting to slowly step backwards. "Why don't you shut the Hell up?"

And maybe start unobtrusively walking? Away?

"What are the rules?" she asked, trying to call in her sword, or her knives, or, Hell's fire, even a paperweight would do. "There's nothing about coming in and vanishing people away? Because that's both rude and a really stupid idea."

Yay bravado!

From:

"Y--" Topher started to agree, before abruptly remembering Karla's suggestion and snapping his mouth shut. "Okay," he squeaked instead, scrambling to get traction under his feet so that he could actually walk like a human being rather than being dragged. "Should I get War--"

Nope. Probably not.

"Let's just go!"

From:

The Auditors followed after her, picking up a speedier pace. "The multiverse is... messy," said Mr. Crimson.

"We are tidying up," said Ms. Amaranth.

"Who are you getting?" asked Mr. Scarlet.

From:

Of everyone and everything on this island, the last thing Karla wanted was for them to get Warren. Even though she still hated him, yes.

Shut up.

"We're not getting anything," Karla said, nudging Topher along. "Or anyone. We're leaving."

She threw up a shield between them and the strangers. And was somehow completely unsurprised when they walked right through it like it wasn't even there.

From:

Congratulations, Karla. You now joined the ranks of the very few people who'd had the serious misfortune of seeing Topher try to run. It wasn't remotely pretty. There was panting and huffing involved.

At least the end of the world and the Auditors on their heels might make her slightly less likely to fall over laughing?

From:

"No," said Mr. Crimson, "I believe that is a fallacy. You are not leaving." He reached out, attempting to grab Karla's arm.

The body felt very strongly on this point.

From: