if i think i can figure things out, is that curiosity or arrogance?

"Hey!"

A beat.

"No, that's valid."

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endsthegame

"If you can't find anything on the menu," Ender said, keeping his face straight, thank you, "I'm sure Ben can kill something for you."

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Ben kicked him under the table. "I can slay the wild vending machine with the best of them," he said, nodding solemnly.

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"Plus, you'd probably get in trouble for killing something," Billy said, adding after a moment, "Oh, wait, you were kidding, weren't you?"

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"He once slayed a washing machine right before my eyes," Topher informed Billy. "It was ugly."

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endsthegame

"Yes, I was kidding," Ender said lightly, though he poked Ben back with his foot. "I'd prefer it if nothing got killed, if that's all the same."

A waiter finally came over to drop a stack of menus over, and... asked them what they wanted to drink.

In stilted English. But English none the less.

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"Water, please," Ben said with a smile.

He'd had enough alcohol for a very long time.

"And that washing machine had it coming."

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"Water for me too," Billy said, since that seemed like a safe choice. "Did it mess up your clothes?"

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"Mountain Dew?" Topher said hopefully. The waiter looked confused, and Topher shook his head and just decided, "Water."

A pause.

"And it messed up Ramona's clothes, actually," he added. Topher was so accurate, clearly.

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endsthegame

"Milk," Ender ordered. He opened up his menu and took a glance at it.

"Washing machines," he added. "Terribly dangerous things."

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"Right up there with rancors," Ben agreed, flipping through the menu too. "I wonder what's holy about the lamb."

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"I'm more curious about the bananas in everything. I mean, it sounds good," Billy said with a laugh. "But still weird."

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"Bananas are a snack," Topher decided, nodding in agreement. "Not for chicken."

Yes, Topher, be THAT American.

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endsthegame

"Heathens," Ender said, studying his menu. "You're in a foreign country - a little diversity will do you good."

He was planning to order some of the local stuff. That probably belonged in the list of Wiggin family malfunctions, too.

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"I'll eat anything that isn't running off the plate," Ben said, "and depending on the planet, I can make an exception that too."

He glanced at the menu. "I think I won't try the general's leg, just in case that's not a mistranslation."

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"I might try the local fish, 'cause that's not something I can get anywhere, right?" And then he wouldn't die, and maybe Topher would learn to be adventurous too.

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"I'll get the lasagna?" Topher tried. "That sounds nice and normal." Though he had to grin a little at the name of the mushrooms, because he was five.

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endsthegame

"I'll go with the beef," Ender said, and tossed the menu back on the table.

"So, have you two been enjoying Rio?"

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"Topher has stopped collecting boas by now, right?" Ben added.

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Billy blushed, looking down at his menu to keep from having to look at Ben. "There haven't been any more boas in our room, no. Thank you, uh, for the phone message," he said, figuring Ben would know what he meant.

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"Dude," Topher said, "how many people did you send that to?" Clearly, Ben was the worst.

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endsthegame

"Whatever 'it' is, I haven't seen it," Ender volunteered. There was some amusement on his face. "If that helps at all."

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Ben smiled sweetly. "Payback for talking to everyone about the texts I sent you."

Brat.

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