if i think i can figure things out, is that curiosity or arrogance?

"Spoilsport," Kenzi said, then gave up on him for the moment, and started ordering food. "Two bacon cheeseburgers, onion rings, fries, oo, poutine..."

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Topher did his best to think of something that might convince him. Unfortunately, he got distracted.

"Oooh! Hey, Peter! Did you know you were wrong about something?"

Uh-oh.

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Peter sighed. "What is it now?"

Ahahaha. He read radio this morning, Topher.

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Kenzi looked up, curious, still talking into the phone. "Chocolate shakes, one of those salads, hey, some mozzarella sticks... What was he wrong about?"

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Topher, meanwhile, had missed the broadcast. He'd been busy, see. There were zombies to be killed.

"Turns out Ben doesn't actually like your brother!" he reported.

False.

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Peter stared at him for a minute.

Then just started laughing.

Honestly, after the initial shock, he didn't care so much. If Ender was distracted and happy, he'd be easier to mess with. Probably. If Skywalker didn't put things in his head. ...Dammit.

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Kenzi had also heard Radio this morning. And was now facepalming.

"Topher, who told you that? And what did they say?"

Not that she had anything invested, but keeping Topher from getting beat up was getting to be a hobby.

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"Ben and Tony!" Topher was just as shocked as Peter and Kenzi! Except that Peter seemed a bit hysterical, rather than shocked. Topher chalked that up to his severe case of Must Always Be Right syndrome. "They were all, 'that's not true' and 'I wouldn't tell Peter even if it was true,' and blah blah blah 'saying that could get you hit.'"

It was true that of all the girls at Fandom, Karla remained one who still hadn't punched him yet...

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Peter looked at him, incredibly amused. "Topher, buddy," he said, "I can tell you with certainty that they were lying."

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"Not that we care, but, unless they are playing a really big joke on the squirrels, Ben and Ender are all about the altogether together now," Kenzi confirmed. "...I think this is a case of 'I wouldn't tell Peter even if it was true'. And just not wanting to tell you, dude."

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Topher paused. Then frowned.

"But... but it was Tony," he said meekly.

Tony! That guy he trusted!

[[And now I head to sleeeeep!]]

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"I have notes," Peter said, gleefully. "I mean, I didn't say it outright on the radio, but those two were caught playing tonsil-hockey yesterday."

See, Topher? Peter was always right, and trumped Tony freakin' Stark.

Edited Date: 2011-10-13 07:13 am (UTC)

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"Then again, maybe they turned on a dime and jumped each other after Ben talked to you," Kenzi said blandly. "Or Tony doesn't know what he's talking about. And remember the part about getting hit?" The important part?

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"Well, I knew you guys wouldn't hit me," Topher pointed out.

There were so many problems with that observation. So many.

"Whatever," he concluded. "Just never say tonsil hockey again, okay?"

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"I can't promise that," Peter said idly.

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"Bow chicka bow wow?" Kenzi said in porn tones. "Sexytimes? The beast with two backs? Erecting an erection? You can thank Wes for that last one."

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"Stoppp!" Topher whined. "Man-reaction."

They could thank his canon for that.

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"Did he just really say man-reaction?" Peter wondered.

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Judging by Kenzi's giggling, yes, he did. "Does this mean I can get a second job as a phone-sex operator?" Wait. "Why didn't I think of this before? Hey, Topher, does your man-reaction react if I talk about positions?"

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Topher buried his head in the pillow on the floor, singing, "La la la la la!" to block out the imagery.

GROSS, KENZI.

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Even Peter pulled a face. "Kenzi, please," he said, "Nobody needs to know about Topher's man-reaction."

Edited Date: 2011-10-13 06:54 pm (UTC)

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Kenzi's lack of TMI filter meant she was still giggling. "I think we all know the answer anyway... so yeah. No asking about Ben and Ender, or I'll talk more about my next enterprise."

Hmm. "Although that would probably count as some form of cheating on Toby, so maybe not."

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Cautiously resurfacing, Topher informed her, "You're awful."

She was.

"Should be nicer to me now that I'm doing what you said," he added. "Gonna take lessons on how to duck and run away and stuff from Tony once we get back to school."

And wouldn't that be... interesting.

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"Because that's absolutely not a recipe for disaster," Peter judged, "Though it's nice you're trying to take measures to keep our icepack levels up."

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