if i think i can figure things out, is that curiosity or arrogance?

"My character..."

Squall looks down at his character sheet, considering his options. Fighting the bandits didn't seem to be one of them.

"...sneaks up behind them and picks their pockets?"

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"Hey!"

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"...What?" Squall asked. "Is that wrong? I'm not going to be much use in a fight."

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"Pickpocketing is my thing! Me!" Kenzi pouted. "Go hide or set a trap or something."

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"Wait, are you guys bandits now?" Karla asked, getting confused.

"Aethel--whatever my name is draws her mighty blade! DEATH TO THE BANDITS!"

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angelo_wings

"Don't kill Squall!" Rinoa squeaked in protest.

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"I will if he pickpockets me! I'm a holy person! You can't pickpocket holy people!"

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"If you kill him, then I'll blow your holy person up!"

Never mind that her Mary Sue Elf Princess did not actually know or give a damn about Squall's character.

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"Yeah right!" Karla argued. "You couldn't even blow up that tavern!"

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"CAN YOU BOTH STOP FIGHTING AND KILL THE BANDITS?!?!"

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"I am trying to arrest them!" Karla said, aggrieved. "And then we will put them on trial and sentence them to death. Legally."

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"Then we'll NEVER get to the goblin king!!!"

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"It won't be a long trial," Karla said. "Ten, twenty minutes, tops. I mean, we have all the evidence right here."

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angelo_wings

"If we kill them first, we don't need to have a trial," Rinoa observed.

That was not how criminal justice worked, Rinoa.

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"Yeah, but I'm a police officer. I have to at least pretend to care."

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"I'm not a bandit, I'm a rogue Halfling," Squall answered. "We're fighting against the bandits, too, just with economics."

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"It's my thing, too," Squall told her. "According to this, anyway. How about I pickpocket some, and you pickpocket the others?"

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Kenzi paused, and leaned over to look at his sheet. "Well. Okay. You get the short ones. Easier for you to reach since you're only three feet tall."

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Squall looked at his sheet again. "...What? Really?" He'd missed that. "Is that what 'halfling' means? I thought it was a nationality."

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"It's both," Kenzi said cheerfully. "Half-elf, now, that means you're kinda tall and skinny with weird ears, but halfling are the little guys. Great for crawling into air ducts."

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"..."

Well, that sucked.

"Are there any air ducts around?"

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"MMmmm not yet?" Kenzi grinned. "There might be tunnels, though. Gnomes, right?"

You're thinking of dwarves, Kenzi.

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"I don't know what gnomes are," Squall admitted. "They make tunnels?"

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"Yup. Full of diamonds!" Kenzi got most of her knowledge from video games. "Also, they do horrible things to bunnies. Trufax."

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